You might be a bike weenie if.....

You Might Be A Bike Weenie If...

You hear someone had a crash and your first question is "How's the bike?"
You convert your car's brake & gas pedals to clipless.
You see nothing wrong with discussing the connection between hydration and urine color.
You refuse to buy a couch because that patch of wallspace is taken up by the bike.
You have more money invested in your bike clothes than in the rest of your combined wardrobe.
"Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries" is for you.
You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young woman ride by, and the first thing you check out is her bicycle.
You empathize with the roadkill.
Despite all that winter weight you put on, you'll skim weight by buying titanium components
You use wax on your chain, but not on your car.
Your bike bag consists of an outdated Power Bar, one tire lever, a questionable patch kit, a run-over spoke wrench, an all-in-one, a rusty allen wrench, change with hell knows what stuck on it, a couple of tubes without a clue which one has a hole, and that peanut butter sandwich you swore you brought on the ride two weeks ago, all tucked into a bag the size of your fist.
Your first course when you eat out is a large banana split.
You yell "On Your Left!" when passing another car.
You yell "Hole!" when you see a pothole while driving your car.
Your bike has more miles on its computer then your car's odometer.
You wear your riding gloves when driving your car.
You wear your bike shorts swimming.
You wear bike race T-shirts all the time, including under dress shirts.
Your bikes are worth more than your car.
When you move to a new area the first thing you look for is a bike shop.
You have more bike jerseys than dress shirts.
You take your bike along when you shop for a car - just to make sure the bike will fit inside.
You start yelling at cars to "hold your line."
You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade components.
You clean your bike(s) more often then your car.
You install bike mounts in the back of your double cab.
You spend weekends during the summer spraying arrows on the sides of roads.
You and your significant other have and wear identical riding clothes.
You can't seem to get to work by 8:00 AM, even for important meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your buddies at 5:00 AM for a training ride.
You can tell your wife, with a straight face that it's to hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.
You regard inter-gender discussion of your genital pain/size/shape/utility as normal.
Your New Years resolution is to put more miles on your bike than your car, and you do it.
You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your speed is.
When driving your car you lean over the steering wheel, just like an aerobar.
Your kids bring a rear derailleur to "Show & Tell".
Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is full of bikes and cycling gear.
You tailgate a 18-wheeler whilst driving to get the drafting effect.